by Andrea Anderson
Here’s what I hated about having sons on the autism spectrum.
When we’d go out, I couldn’t predict their behavior. One minute ok, next a fit or angry.
One son was afraid of people and didn’t walk until almost 3 years.
The other had giant mood swings and was super hyper.
My kids stood out and didn’t blend in.
I stood out. I couldn’t blend in.
I looked like the bad mom.
My kids “misbehaved.”
Who the heck would want to have their kids around my kids?
Or, spend time with the supposed “bad mom?”
These were the concerns that ran through my mind. Over and over.
At some point, I began to realize just how much I was concerned what other people thought of me and my kids.
Why was I so frickin’ concerned how others viewed us?
That was a recurring thread that ran through all of my experiences with my boys.
To my kids:
You can’t do that.
Don’t talk like that.
Wait, come back, don’t run away….
Meanwhile, to myself I thought:
Oh geez I wonder what that family over there thinks of us????
But, you see, my sons couldn’t help where they were at and what they were in the midst of.
Their bodies had been affected by metals and toxins and hence had autism + PDD.
I felt for them.
Believe me, I love my boys and began to do everything in my power to find answers and to clear their bodies.
And, that determination had me on a journey uncovering ALL sorts of holistic healing methods.
However, even though I was learning and seeing great improvements with my sons symptoms, I still noticed myself.
I realized that this situation with my sons was here to teach me something.
And, if I listened and followed what I sensed was the purpose behind it, I could finally move past it.
Break free from my pattern of being super concerned of others judgement.
And, finally, be confident.
Be self assured.
Ok, whether someone liked me or my kids.
Comfortable with myself.
Comfortable with my kids.
Ok with my life.
And, eventually even really happy with my life.
Eventually really happy with my kids.
Eventually really happy with myself.
However, I realized, I needed to take that first step and STOP BEING SO F’in CONCERNED WITH WHAT OTHERS THOUGHT OF ME + MY SONS!!!
This was the deeper meaning behind my sons being on the spectrum.
And, the lesson to not be missed if I wanted to feel good.
And, if I wanted to help my sons feel good as well.
When I was concerned with others judgment, I would feel stress and then inadvertently take it out on my kids.
When I was less concerned with what others were thinking, I was more relaxed and present with my sons.
I smiled and laughed.
I enjoyed what they were doing.
Even when they were doing something I wouldn’t typically love.
I became a more comfortable mom.
And, eventually, a happier mom.
Learning how to let go of what others thought of my boys and I was a profound way to take my power back.
I reflected and realized as a young kid, I was pretty damn confident.
Then as an adolescent I lost that confidence.
My confidence waxed and wained over the years. Leaning in the direction of being less confident.
And, here I was as a mom in my 30s with two sons on the spectrum and realizing, it was time to start being comfortable with my boys and myself.
To start to not give a Frick what others thought.
And, to figure out ways to elevate my life and my family’s.
I figured things out.
I figured out how to live in my power.
I figured out how to let go of others judgment.
I even figured out how to heal my sons.
FYI, letting go of outside judgment helped me in this arena.
And, I figured out how to be authentic.
So here’s the deal: I want ALL of this for you too.
This is not just possible for me and my sons, but, for you and your family as well.
You deserve for your life to be easy.
You deserve for your kids to feel good and THRIVE.
You deserve to feel good about yourself.
If you’re willing, step back a bit from placing so much focus on helping your child or teen and instead, place some time and emphasis on hearing what it is you can do to help yourself understand the meaning behind why any level of “special needs” may be in your life.
Quite honestly, it’s root has to do with being comfortable with yourself and, less concerned with what others think.
Next, look for ways you can start to feel better about yourself and eventually let go of others judgment.
You’ve got this.
It’s easier than you think!
Blessings + Rock on!
PS If you’re ready to take that next step and start feeling less concerned with what others think AND begin to improve your kids symptoms, lets talk. I welcome you to a private Strategy Session, where you’ll receive personal support for yourself and your kids and walk away with a clear plan to improve symptoms. Use code: CHHFMoms = $25 off a Strategy Session.
Andrea Anderson, CHHC
Author, Health Coach + Nutrition Counselor
For families with anxiety, ADD, ADHD, LD + autism.
Helping families improve symptoms naturally + get their life back!